A dirty debate in Austin

Before anything else, the Democratic debate is tonight at 7pm CST, being held in Austin, Texas and aired by CNN and Univision. I'll be live blogging, so don't worry if you miss it, you can check back here for a revised transcript of the debauchery in its entirety. I'd personally argue that it's better than the real thing.

He's back! That's right, after being long written off as a long shot, known for little more than liking to talk, a lot, especially about what others have dismissed as baseless hope, I survived three weeks of traveling through Guatemala and neighboring El Salvador and have now returned to my sedentary ways here in Xalapa. O, and did you hear about the whole 'O8ama thing? Apparently he's staged some kind of unlikely comeback or something.

Well then, now considering our equally significant journeys--leaving me on my host-family's balcony over looking the city's busiest street and leaving 'O8ama miles ahead in a 100 meter dash with Hillary--I think we're ready to begin where we left off and continue, humble as ever, serving as the campaign's most crucial allied-news outlet (this sounds crazy, but Chris just called me, and he quit his volunteer position as one of only several MD campaign coordinators to be a full time contributor to Beyond Walls, where he feels he can be of greatest use to the campaign. I have welcomed this surprising turn of events). With no further adieu, let's, as a community united by a shared thirst for change, live up to our name (the 'fulcrum' is one that comes to mind) and help send the first African-American president to the White House.

With Billary struggling to collect enough stones to build a make shift jetty that she hopes will break 'O8ama's tidal wave of 10 straight victories--each by double digit margins--tonight's debate, is gonna be a hoot. As she tends to do when coming off a fresh defeat, she'll no doubt be quick to send the attack dogs out on our guy early on. Below, are just a few of the likely, below-the-belt blows she's bound to use to try to knock out 'O8ama (I apologize, these analogies are becoming harder to take than a driver's test while blind-folded):

1) "Just (stolen) words?"--This one, even for Billary is low, and total crap. Mass. Governor Deval Patrick--the guy who's words Billary claims 'O8ama deceitfully lifted in a modified stump speech he gave this past Saturday in Wisconsin--has, just in the last week, repeatedly stated that he personally asked his close friend 'O8ama to borrow the lines. Plagiarism? I think not.

2) "Scaredy cat"--In attacks ads run by Billary last week in Wisconsin, she claimed 'O8ama was afraid to take her up on scheduling another debate pre-March 4. The truth? I mean, first of all, there have already been 18, with one tonight and another scheduled for just the 26th in Ohio. Secondly, while Billary has the benefit of name recognition after living in the White House with Sideshow Bill for eight years, 'O8ama is still known for little more than being black and having a difficult name to pronounce to voters in many parts of the country. Give the guy a break from mundane debating to go and meet the people face to face--something that's shown to exponentially boost his approval rating while doing just the opposite for Billary.

3) "Universal means everybody"--This one isn't especially new, but will certainly continue to be one of her main lines of attack tonight. For a while now, she's criticized 'O8ama's Universal Health care plan for leaving out 15 of the 47 million Americans currently uninsured. This is because unlike Billary's, 'O8ama's plan doesn't directly make buying health-care obligatory. Instead, he believes Americans don't choose to go uninsured, they simply can't afford paying for it. He argues that with low enough prices all Americans will be able to afford insurance. This approach, experts agree, is likely to cover significantly more people than Billary's would. Hopefully he can shed some clarity on this one tonight and retire it from Billary's outdated artillery shelf once and for all.

So, there you have it, Billary's last, pathetically desperate lines of defense standing in between 'O8ama and the Democratic nomination. Amidst the onslaught of half-truths that she'll be slinging his way tonight, 'O8ama will be looking to court Latino voters--a demographic block that comprises nearly 40% of likely voters in next month's Texas Democratic Primary and one that has, in previous primaries such as California and New York, tended to sided with Billary. With the debate being aired on the Spanish-language Univision he'll certainly have their full attention. Let's hope his message of the indispensability of the American dream, the very one that got him to where he is and holds promise for the millions that flock to our country every year in search for good-paying jobs, isn't totally drowned out by Billary's last ditch-effort to rescue her moribund campaign.

PS: Name Changes--As you might have noticed I have taken the liberty to update how we refer to some of the major players left in the upcoming election. Here's my reasoning for each:
'O8ama--Let's be Biden for a second and cut the shit. Our guy, especially in running against McCain's "change is..bad?" platform, has this thing on locks.
Billary--The two can't be distinguished. This has gotten so out of control that Obama had to even ask at a previous debate which of the two he was running against.
Sideshow Bill--While he's chilled out after the campaign saw in South Carolina the full extent of the backlash to Bill's strategic outbursts, Bill has officially gone off the deep end. He was once a pretty cool, socially aware prez, who most of my Dem friends freely refer to as "the man." Now, he's greedy for power and will do anything to get it back. Apparently, this includes looking like a psycho in the defense of his wife's presidential bid.